I came to Paris as an Erasmus student in 2011. I had a limited time to spend, only 5 months in this beautiful city. Having visited for short weekends before, I knew I wanted to explore Paris a little more in depth.
I have to tell you, being a student living in Paris, especially when studying at Dauphine is not the best way to get the most out of this city. but sometimes you cannot choose your luck. You have to create your own luck. I spent 5 magical months and when it was time to leave, well I have to tell you my mom and the taxi driver had to carve me up from the pavement as I was sobbing like crazy.
In the taxi to the airport, I said out loud “ i'll be back. I know i'll be back”.
Took me 8 years.
I moved back to Paris, this time with a CDI contract, following my dreams, taking a leap of faith.
One thing I have to tell you, no amount of French (my french was already advanced), no amount of knowledge of wine, no amount of extroversion , no amount of “Oh i have been in a french school I know how french can be” prepares you for an actual move in Paris.
Paris, as beautiful as it can be, is not necessarily international in its mindset.
You have to be ready to be immersed in French culture, and not try to find your own culture, or expect people to think like you.
Compared to London, New York, the people you will encounter in your daily life, they will most probably not be immigrants.
With a lot of things in life, you don’t try to change what you can't control, you learn to adapt.
Because the beauty of the French system is, you are treated equally with any other French person, so you are not less, you are not more special than anyone else.
Once you see that, everything gets easier.
It took me 6 months (and that is thanks to the book Culture map by Erin Meyer) to understand that French only comments on the negative because positive does not need to be pointed out. It took me around a year to learn that being very precise, very “ferme” (firm) in your choices of words will take you anywhere in both professional and personal life. not necessarily how we do things where I came from..
After 4 years of being here, having been through lockdowns, having married here, and collected a beautiful amount of friends that I get to call family (one being the owner of this blog), how to keep the love alive?
Did I already say “you need to create your own luck”?
If you are a foodie, there are amazing openings in Paris every week. I have around 250 restaurants in my Google maps that I still have yet to try. Also, having a friend like Okan helps.
If you love wine, there are thousands of types of wines, different cepages, and different regions. I don't think my lifetime will be enough to try them all. One tip: having a good “caviste” helps. He will not only try to sell you good wine, but also you will find yourself drunk while buying wine. My personal rule for wine is to spread them around weekdays so I can drink one glass each night rather than 5 glasses at one go. remember “one glass of red wine is medicinal.” (i forgot where i read this but who cares its convincing right?)
If you love cheese, and please see a doctor if you don't like cheese, try to set a goal for each week / each month, to try a new cheese. gives me so much joy to see what French are capable of doing with just cow milk or goat milk. Pure magic.
if you love walking, I think you will just need to click on other tabs on this website, he’ll be able to tell you more.
If you want to make friends, there are amazing supper clubs like “twenty two” or “club du souper”. I cannot guarantee these friendships will last a lifetime but you will have one hell of a great time.
if you love traveling, it's just a matter of knowing which SNCF website to use.. Once you do that, France will have all the climates, all you need based on your holiday style.
It is just a matter of setting the sails a little loose, having a little serendipity mindset, going out of your house without a reservation for once, strolling a little and finding a cute little bistro, a terrasse with some sun, taking a big inhale (except for in the metro), having a glass of wine and fall in love with Paris all over again.
Also seeing Tour Eiffel at night in all its beauty helps a lot.
Just enjoy the small things, don’t stress about the strikes!
Pelin Cankurt Chlabovitch